Usagi
by Maho-chan
Summary: One day, in the weeks before Tsukasa leaves for New York to take over the Domyoji Corporation, he realizes another significant feeling he has towards Tsukushi. Oneshot.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango. :)_

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_AN: Inspired by a set of scenes about Tsukasa's childhood that appear in the Hana Yori Dango Manga, volume 31.

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_**Usagi  
****A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction  
By Maho-chan**

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"_Usagi-chan, mama left me again to go to London."_

"_Usagi-chan, I had a bad dream. I looked and looked but couldn't find what I was looking for."_

"_Usagi-chan, I don't think anyone loves me. If they did, they wouldn't always leave me here alone._"

* * *

The pillow smelled like Tsukushi's hair, and he pressed his face against it, taking in her scent. In the space between dreams and waking, Tsukasa registered the thin futon underneath him, the humming of a refrigerator and the steady ticking of a clock. The tatami smelled old and slightly musty, but the mat was smooth against his palm. The combination of the soft sounds, the warmth of her futon and her familiar smell brought about a feeling he couldn't quite place. Raising his head to check the time, Tsukasa realized that it was probably time for him to return to the Domyoji corporate building and instantly felt regret.

He hadn't wanted to spend his only free time that day sleeping. That morning he had rushed over to Tsukushi's apartment when one of his meetings was canceled, looking forward to spending a full two hours with her. His early arrival on a Saturday morning had surprised her and she had complained that he hadn't even let her get dressed or put away her futon yet.

But after rubbing her eyes sleepily, Tsukushi had taken a good look at him and then insisted that Tsukasa lay down. He looked exhausted; she had suggested that it might be a good idea for him to take a nap. She had offered her threadbare futon, pushing him towards it with all her might.

Tsukushi had shoved him down so that Tsukasa ungracefully fell face first onto her futon, and then covered him with her blanket, making sure to push him down again when he protested. Cocooned in the warmth of her bed, Tsukasa had yawned. Lacking the energy to argue with her, he had immediately fallen fast asleep.

His preparations for his upcoming move to New York and the few moments he could spend with Tsukushi came at the expense of sleep and rest. Trying to keep up with his new responsibilities was challenging but the worst of it was that he missed Tsukushi so much. As the day of his departure loomed, Tsukasa was acutely aware that they had so little time left to be together before he left.

The clock ticked on as Tsukasa sighed, still lost in his thoughts. He opened his eyes as the sound of shuffling feet made him aware of her presence.

Raising his head, Tsukasa called for her.

"Makino?"

He could see her through the slightly open shoji screens separating her bedroom from the main room and kitchen.

She must not have heard him for the kitchen sink turned on.

"Makino." Tsukasa said a little louder, before closing his eyes and burying his face in the pillow again. The sink turned off and suddenly her voice was very near.

"You don't have to wake up. You still have another thirty minutes before you have to go back, so why don't you sleep longer?" Tsukushi said as she crouched next to him.

"How can I not wake up, you are being so loud." Tsukasa grumbled, as he moved to rise from the futon.

Pushing him back down, Tsukushi said quietly "Stop being stubborn and go back to sleep."

"Mmrph." Tsukasa replied, his face pressed against the pillow. Raising his head, Tsukasa glared at her. "Hey, stop pushing me down! Anyway, I should get up."

"Why? Aren't you comfortable?" Tsukushi asked quizzically, tilting her head. Still pushing him down with one hand, Tsukushi reached for the edge of the blanket that he had thrown off while sleeping. She carefully covered him up again.

Once again, Tsukasa felt that unfamiliar feeling arise as Tsukushi absently smoothed out a wrinkle in the covers, tucking them around him carefully.

He frowned as he tried to identify it. "I wasted our time together." Tsukasa said quietly, as he watched Tsukushi. Something about her actions perturbed him. But he couldn't quite place why.

Taken aback by the intensity of his gaze, Tsukushi blushed.

"It's okay." Tsukushi replied. "You are tired right?" She glanced at the clock. "I think you can sleep for longer."

"I don't need to." Tsukasa moved to rise from the futon but was once again stopped by Tsukushi's palms pressing him down again. "Makino, I don't want to sleep anymore."

"You need to sleep! Your eyes are all red." Tsukushi insisted.

Tsukasa smiled "I'll stay here if you come to bed with me." Tsukasa said slyly. Tsukushi glared and smacked his arm. "Stop being dirty minded."

She reached for something on the nearby bookcase. "Here, if you really want company, you can hold this bunny. It is yours after all."

Tsukasa grimaced "You are still keeping this dirty thing?" Pushing it away from him, he muttered "I don't need it."

"I just thought you might need some help sleeping." Tsukushi countered, looking amused. "Should I sing to you instead? Would that help you sleep?"

"Idiot! Don't sing!" Tsukasa replied loudly. "Fine, just leave me alone." He impatiently waved her away. He could hear her giggling as she left the room.

"Makino, you better not be laughing at me!" Tsukasa growled.

Burying his face in her pillow again, he reached out in spite of himself and fingered the bunny that Tsukushi had conveniently left in his reach. He could hear Tsukushi moving around in the other room and singing softly to herself.

There was that feeling again.

"Stupid." Tsukasa whispered, before falling asleep once more.

* * *

The rest of the day did not go well.

The meetings introducing him as the head of the Domyoji Corporation in his father's stead had been long winded and boring as well as filled with tedious interactions and lots of formality. Lunch was a hurried affair in which his new secretary had given him a report on the preparations to leave for New York.

His apartment in New York was in order, his clothes were being shipped and his flight had been arranged, his secretary had said. As each detail was confirmed, Tsukasa felt a certain measure of dread that was different from his ever present longing to spend time with Tsukushi and his determination to carry out what he had set out to do.

He hadn't felt this way for a very long time…

This feeling of trepidation continued throughout the day until Tsukasa found himself in his office later that night, examining the details of his itinerary again. He was gaining a new home, new furniture, and a new, important role. His secretary had included details of his flight and as he looked those over, Tsukasa suddenly felt very lonely.

He would be flying alone and would be leaving sometime in the middle of the night…

Again, something about this bothered him. Tsukasa searched his mind for a reason. He had flown alone since he was a child. He remembered staring out the airplane window at passing clouds or waiting for the dawn to come. When he was little there was never anyone to talk to except for his rabbit that was of course, just a toy.

He used to hug it tight.

Feeling stupid for remembering such a thing, Tsukasa reached for his briefcase to put the itinerary away. There was no need to feel lonely. He was used to doing things by himself.

He would miss Tsukushi terribly but other than that this trip would be no different from before.

But when Tsukasa opened his briefcase and saw what was inside, he almost forgot to breathe, he was so surprised.

For there, nestled carefully among his reports, was a cloth wrapped box.

Undoing the knot and pulling back the bright cloth, Tsukasa stared in wonder as a small cheap looking bento box was revealed. There was no note, but when he pulled off the lid and saw what was inside, he felt a peculiar ache.

The apple slices inside the box were shaped like little rabbits.

He pulled one out and contemplated it, before taking a careful bite. They were sweet and a little overripe. Savoring the taste, Tsukasa felt longing so acute that he closed his eyes.

'_Makino'_

Placing the lid back on the box, he quickly shoved it in his briefcase and before making his way to the door.

* * *

The car pulled to a stop in the glow of a streetlamp.

Tsukasa got out and hastened towards Tsukushi's apartment, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. Pounding on the door, he was relieved when she pushed it open and exclaimed, "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be busy tonight. And why were you knocking so hard? You scared me!"

Reaching for her, Tsukasa pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. That feeling that he couldn't place from this morning came back to him and as he inhaled her scent, he finally understood what it was.

'_I used to be so lonely…'_

"Domyoji?" Tsukushi whispered.

Holding her closer, Tsukasa pressed kisses against her hair. He never wanted to let her go.

'_Nobody ever really cared…'_

"I can't breathe." Tsukushi said, pulling away slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Moron, nothing's wrong." He mumbled, kissing her forehead. "I just wanted to see you."

'_Until you.'_

He couldn't bring himself to say what he desperately felt.

"You are being strange again." Tsukushi said quietly. "Is it because you are hungry? Didn't you eat anything at all? I left you some apples in your briefcase…"

"Yeah, I got them." Tsukasa said hoarsely. Instinctively trying to hide his emotions, he said gruffly, "Those apples looked dumb. I'm not a child."

Annoyed by this, Tsukushi pushed on his chest. "What! I spent some time on those; you could at least try to be grateful."

"Why do poor people always eat such low quality food? Those apples were soft and too sweet." Tsukasa replied, trying his hardest to sound mean.

'_Tsukushi.'_

Meeting Tsukasa's gaze, Tsukushi glared at him and prepared to give him a sound lecture.

"Hey! That apple was supposed to be my dessert today. If I had known that you wouldn't enjoy eating it then I wouldn't have bothered."

But as she beheld his eyes that looked a little wet and his forlorn expression, Tsukushi's gaze softened. Impulsively wrapping her arms around him, Tsukushi held Tsukasa tight.

"You idiot." Tsukushi whispered to Tsukasa. He leaned into her embrace and trembled slightly.

And as the wind softly blew, Tsukasa closed his eyes and clung to Tsukushi, comforted by her presence.

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-Maho-chan (3/12/09)


End file.
